FINKEL'S FRIENDS
Last night in Norris' Dittmar Gallery, more than 50 students gathered to hear psychology professor Eli Finkel and his colleague Paul Eastwick talk about sex. Hold your Salt-N-Pepa jokes; the two recently published their speed-dating research in the scientific journal Nature, and gathered for Hillel's Ask Big Questions series to discuss whether girls and boys (or two gay boys or girls, Finkel clarified) can truly be friends. Turns out friendships where one side has romantic feelings are "perpetually disappointing."
"Every time your friend starts dating, you have to keep it under control," Eastwick said before explaining how self-control is a "limited resource" and one friend usually ends up unhappy. So, as one girl asked, "What are people to do?" The two psychologists recommended asking your other friends whether you would be happier if you cut your crush out of your life. But they cautioned that friends can be bitches - they used the word "biased" - so take any advice with a grain of salt.
Because the event was sponsored by Hillel, Rabbi Joshua chimed in occasionally with thoughts about whether opening up relationships or habitually hooking up were things that you wanted to be part of your "story." Finkel asserted that successful science must ignore moral judgments, before pointing out happy people tend to respect others' dignity. "And I'm not someone who has prudish or wait-until-marriage views," he joked. "By a longshot."
Other pessimistic-for-Valentine's-Day topics covered at the lovefest included the idea that humans think they have preferences in mates, but really have no idea what they're looking for. Because of this, random profile-hunting on Match.com tends not to work whereas eHarmony.com's obnoxious surveys and secret algorithms do (both psychologists said they couldn't wait until the day the popular dating site released its formula). And all that stuff about men and women being fundamentally different when it comes to commitment or sex? "That's all overblown," Finkel said, giving hope to sex-crazed girls and commitophobic guys just in time for Valentine's Day.
2008 Woodie Awards
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